I hate widowhood pretty completely, but "the days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations are really damn good days." -- Ray Wylie Hubbard

Well, I'm trying for it anyway.

This house is about 2100 sq. ft.

When Lyman was alive, we'd talk about how we needed the office, the kitchen, the fireplace, the bedroom and a bathroom.  You could knock that up in 1000, 1200 sq. ft, including the porch for the birds, maybe less.

I'm taking to the notion of  "rightsizing." I've never lived alone (long term) in an abode so large.

I'm less enthralled with the notion of painting cabinets again. It has to be done, in the office and the kitchen. Too expensive to hire out.

The condo at the coast was 950 -- two okay bedrooms, two small baths, a decent sized kitchen, small dining and living areas. Knock out the second small bath for a larger closet. That was a good size.

So, I'm not starving yet, but I do need a job, and I need to start a new career. My family is long-lived, so I can reasonably expect to be alive until 85.

My current job, until I can find something to buy beans and pay electricity, is to sell this house, and decide what to do next. My last job was being Lyman Gore's wife. That took some resources and most of 19 years.

Employers don't much care about that.

That's a tasty cake, without a complicated recipe, and moist.

MIL's chocolate cake

MIL's chocolate cake, a photo by Janis Gore on Flickr.

Happy birthday, Girl!

Ahem. My MIL has a birthday on March 5.

I have traditionally baked a cake for her on that day. She likes chocolate. Whatcha got?

UPDATE: Never mind. She wants Italian cream. She'll be 93.

Well, thinking it over, I don't want to make an Italian cream. I'm doing Hershey's Perfectly Chocolate.

Keep your exquisite chocolate. This is what she grew up with. She didn't actually demand the Italian cream. She just said it was always good.

Mo' rain

Mo' rain, a photo by Janis Gore on Flickr.

Have I done something to deserve this?

If so, I repent right here. We're talkin' two more days of this this week.

Maybe we all will come out of drought this spring.

UPDATE: 1.7"
2.57" now at 6:20 p.m.

Ariat boot

Ariat boot, a photo by Janis Gore on Flickr.

My Valentine, for a few years, has been my mother-in-law.

Her son might be deceased, but she is still my mother-in-law, and she is alive. She'll be 93 on March 5. So I took her a card, a small potted flower, and a box of chocolates today, as I have every year she has been at Magnolia House.

Happy Valentine's Day, Girl!

Note: One's love and one's Valentine can be two separate persons.

Lyman and I would just cook something special together. Sometimes. And that man loved his mama.

Wild Magnolias

Morning rain

Morning rain, a photo by Janis Gore on Flickr.

Midsummer I'll be complaining that we haven't had rain in six weeks.

But y'all, this is the third day of this weather, in a row, this week.

Our drainage isn't that bad.

Oh, rats!

Oh, rats!, a photo by Janis Gore on Flickr.

If we don't get some sunshine for a while soon, I'm gonna have to take the kitchen knives and garden poisons somewhere else.

Or leave.

Dayum. They're trying to kill me, too.

Mardi Gras float, Natchez

Mardi Gras float, Natchez, a photo by Janis Gore on Flickr.

I've gone totally neurotic over cloudy weather. My mood sinks to my shoes when the sun isn't shining. And I need a job.

More cauliflower!

More cauliflower!, a photo by Janis Gore on Flickr.

My late husband whistled all day long, like his father. Like mine. Charles Gore, the African Grey, misses him a lot.

Beach Boys

A little light and a warm breeze do wonders here.

Happy Cajun Groundhog Day!

Happy Cajun Groundhog Day!, a photo by Janis Gore on Flickr.

Pierre C. Shadeaux did not see his shadow today, so we should have a longer spring this year.

Just to note: That is not a picture I took. I can't find the original.

I did clean the bathrooms today, so I'm rewarding myself by taking a little wine across the river and watching this week's Mardi Gras parade. At Lana's place. Next door to my brother's.

So, Lana and her husband have invited me to their place for a Superbowl party. They're cooking chili. What should I take, besides my drinks? Anything new and interesting out there?

About that casserole, Scott -- it was all right, but I'm not inclined to try it again. It wasn't too dry, but it could have used more flavor.

Test post

Flowerbox

Flowerbox, a photo by Janis Gore on Flickr.

The last couple of weeks have been hard for the widow.

But not everything is.

Look! A cauliflower!

Look! A cauliflower!, a photo by Janis Gore on Flickr.

Clifton Chenier

Next up to try in the kitchen: Chicken Tortilla Casserole

(Yeah, yeah, that man, Mr. C.)

It was raining when I woke at 12:38 a.m., and 4:05 a.m., and it's raining at 6:55 a.m.

UPDATE: With this weather, I've had my eye on the arsenic for a couple of days.

Don't panic. I decided on Asian Chili Chicken Noodle Soup instead.

80% chance of rain today. High of 40 degrees F.

UPDATE: We've had 1.37" at 1:50 p.m. And this weather is to continue on for not one, as previously predicted, but two more days.

GAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

This is already a hard day -- harder than Thanksgiving or Christmas. It would have been our 19th anniversary.

And there's an 80% chance of rain.

Friday morning

Friday morning, a photo by Janis Gore on Flickr.

GAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Father O'Connor was at the coffee shop this morning. I asked if he was doing special masses for the depressed.

Around the bend

Around the bend, a photo by Janis Gore on Flickr.

Up the road

Up the road, a photo by Janis Gore on Flickr.

Next door

Next door, a photo by Janis Gore on Flickr.

Enough already?

Side lawn II

Side lawn II, a photo by Janis Gore on Flickr.

Side lawn

Side lawn, a photo by Janis Gore on Flickr.

Fake sherpa

Fake sherpa, a photo by Janis Gore on Flickr.

Since I can't have Sally, I've covered my office chair in this $12.95 fake sherpa from Walmart.

You don't have to walk it or feed it.

It is portable.

Sally in profile

Sally in profile, a photo by Janis Gore on Flickr.

A girl shouldn't love someone else's dog this much.

But Sally has been a "therapy dog" in the best way. And her caretakers, Dr. David Ball and his wife Gwen are pretty fine, too.

And I'm contemplating buying a serger. There is a good market here for attractive baby clothes.

I've seen some little girl's dresses here that must have cost a fortune, and would be a snap to sew. I do need to learn smocking, though.

So yesterday I put in two online applications to work in the garden department of Stine Hardware in Natchez -- one for cashier and one for sales.

Remember, I haven't been employed outside the home for nearly 20 years. Might be a good way to get my toes back in the water.

I was recently impressed with the quality of the manager there. She told me today that they should be filling those positions next month. Kathy Young is her name, and don't you forget it.

Charlie Walker

I'll raise you one, Mostly Cajun:

Good Lord. I found some Forever Krystle body powder in the linen closet.

Smells pretty good.

Clean range

Clean range, a photo by Janis Gore on Flickr.

Big job.

I recommend purchasing a cleaning contract when you buy one of these boys.

Sally

Sally, a photo by Janis Gore on Flickr.

Me? Oh. I was just eating Blue Bell's Dutch Chocolate ice cream straight out of the carton because it was too hard to scoop into a bowl.

Cross my heart.

Twin Oaks, Natchez, MS

Twin Oaks, Natchez, MS, a photo by Janis Gore on Flickr.

Just across the street from Dunleith, the site of the Castle.

The Castle Restaurant and Pub

The Castle Restaurant and Pub, a photo by Janis Gore on Flickr.

Pretty approach, isn't it?

I had lunch there with my brother yesterday, and a couple of friends.

The Carriage House is undergoing renovation.

Finally.

All is calm enough to clean and change the paper in the linen closet, and to break down the Viking range and clean it for the first time since Lyman's death.

Not that I've been using it much. Vidalia Market has terrific deli cooks who put out a tasty cafeteria feast seven days a week. Three veg and a roll or cornbread - $4.99. A meat and 2 veg with bread  - $5.99. Portions are so large I can usually eat twice from a plate

(Yeah, yeah, Mr. C again.)

All right, I'm ready. I need a job now.

I studied humanities and biology at Reed College, Portland, OR 1974-1977

I have a degree in journalism from SMU, Dallas, TX 1987

I worked at community newspapers for about 6 years in the southern suburbs of Dallas, Las Colinas, TX, and Natchez, MS, mainly in production and advertising. 1988-93

I have recent experience managing a condo rental. 2009-2012

I've kept a blog for over 10 years. 2002-2013

Janis with two brothers

Janis with two brothers, a photo by Janis Gore on Flickr.

The one on the right called from Little Rock the other night. I had coffee with the one on the left this morning.

I'm becoming fond of Alan Jacobs at The American Conservative.

I'm busy this morning putting a little gloss on the house. Lana and husband Tom are coming for the New Year's good-luck meal.

This year it's smoked ham, frozen black-eyed peas cooked with hog jowl, and cabbage cooked also with jowl, and hot-water cornbread. The friends are from the West and aren't used to the convention down heah.

I'll also take some to the guy who does the yard.

Janis, you say, how can you entertain such a silly superstition after the events of last year? I counter, can you imagine how monstrous things might have been if I hadn't had pork, peas and greens last New Year's? 

UPDATE: That went over well, especially with Tom. He had seconds of everything, and carried a pack of sliced ham for sandwiches home with him.

(Yeah, Mr. C again.)

More like this, please.

Of course now, she might say her music is like blogging, and who am I to tell her what to do? And I wouldn't blame her.

I sho' 'nuff ain't givin' her any beauty advice. She don't need mine.

Suzy Bogguss

She has such a fine voice, I wish her music selections were better.

Suzy Bogguss with Chet Atkins

Happy New Year, y'all!

Mwah! Consider yourself kissed on the cheek.